Some perspective please–it’s just an Xbox

11 12 2005

The phone rings. I moan out of frustration and fatigue. I let it ring while I muster the courage to pick up the receiver. “I have a job to do. Maybe it’ll be different this time,” I tell myself, as sweat begins to trickle down my forehead. My hand trembles as I reach for the phone and nervously press it to my ear. “Hello, CompuSmart West Edmonton Mall,” I say into the receiver, trying not to let my voice crack. I hear heavy breathing on the other end. I can tell he’s as anxious as all the others, and I know what he wants. “Hey, uh, do you have any Xbox 360s?”

Now, I understand the mentality. The idea is that this newfangled gaming system is the coolest distraction machine ever to be invented. It has all the latest technology, and in the case of the Xbox 360, it’s also very aesthetically pleasing.

So, you go to your nearest gaming store and pre-order yourself one of these $500 systems that you can’t afford. You take out a loan if you have to. You then proceed to take the week after the launch off of work and school, feigning illness or death, or whatever you have to do to fulfill your desire to play with the system when it arrives before you ejaculate uncontrollably into your Joe Boxer underoos. Believe me, I understand. My laundry bills are huge. But fellow gamers, I ask you this: do you have to be so fucking stupid about it?

From the moment I walked into our store, I saw a lineup with far more people than the number of systems we even had, so I knew there’d be problems. Upon entering, I was accosted by two boys in black jackets who proceeded to offer me $100 cash on top of the list price to sell them one of the pre-ordered Xboxes. Now, considering the fact that I could sell one on Ebay for $1000, I really didn’t see much benefit in this plan, which was pathetic and moronic to begin with.

Ah, but the best was yet to come. Amidst all the tears of disappointment and anxious nerd-sweat, there was a 20-year-old boy—I know, because I checked his ID—who was so disappointed he wasn’t one of the people whose pre-orders we could fill that he actually got his mother to come with him to the store, who then threatened to call our head office if we didn’t fill her son’s pre-order. Did I mention that he was 20?

I mean, everyone who’s in any way involved with this system—as a consumer or otherwise—should have read, or should have been informed by a salesman like me, that Microsoft is shorting everyone, everywhere—except for the people at the launch party, every single one of whom was given a system. The logistics behind this move are irrelevant at this point, and the info is out there if you really want to know.

The fact is, of all the CompuSmarts in Edmonton, my store got the most Xbox 360s, of both core and premium models. We got ten of them in total, with 36 pre-orders to fill. So what makes people think that we can magically shit out an Xbox at their desire? Why act like such nitwits, like such immature man-boys whose thumbs need to constantly move in a butto- pressing motion? Why, dear god, are some of my compatriots so fucking stupid?

It’s people like that that give gamers a bad name. You give Jack Thompson and his band of mothers-against-humanity fuel for their witch hunts. You people need to realize that, in the end, it’s just a gaming console. Is it important? If it’s your passion, as it is in my case, then perhaps. That doesn’t mean that I’d get my mommy to whine about it for me. Until you learn to exercise some self-control, you don’t deserve your pre-order.

Besides, I already sold it on Ebay.




2 responses

30 08 2007

You must permit me to walk back, at least to the road, with you, he insisted, gathering up her armload of branches.. But that all dreams are to be interpreted bisexually, seems to me to be a generalization as indemonstrable as it is improbable, which I should not like to support.. In the night my worry found expression in the dream which I have reported, the content of which was not only senseless, but failed to show any wish-fulfillment.. The young man, being for the moment at leisure, surveyed critically the gaunt figure, the faded bandanna, the antique clawhammer coat, and the battered stove-pipe hat, with a gradually relaxing countenance.. The two men gave sighs of resignation, and cast carefully concealed glances at each other, speculating on the possibility of a cigar and a glass, and maybe a good story or two, or possibly even a game of poker after the evening meal.. Evelyn returned first and came out on the porch to find a handkerchief.. Podington looked about him, and, almost under his feet, saw the anchor.. On first analysis I discovered an indifferent but true incident where amyl played a part as the excitant of the dream.. Podington was very fond of horses and always drove himself, while Buller was more afraid of horses than he was of elephants or lions.. Whether any reality is to be attributed to the unconscious wishes, and in what sense, I am not prepared to say offhand.. Mars’ Ross–Mars’ Ross! Head ’em off! sounded a yell, and Babe, the house-boy, came around the porch in pursuit of two half-grown chickens.. You’d ought to begin with large-hand, Joshuay, said Master Horner to this youth.. And you bet you he did learn him, too.. , were carefully pruned down about one-half, in order to eliminate the sectional and class prejudice with which the book was dyed from end to end, he might consider its publication.. Polly had initiated him in the mysteries of a discovery of mine, that it is not necessary to finish your sentence in a crowd, but by a sort of mumble, omitting sibilants and dentals.. The Colonel held his breath as the long lashes were raised to his level.. He made the furnace-fire and split the wood before daylight; then he went to sleep again, and slept late; then came for orders, with a red silk bandanna tied round his head, with his overalls on, and his dress-coat and spectacles off.. Gideon stretched out a broad hand and touched her head lightly; and with a tiny gasp her fingers stole up to his.. It was therefore not remarkable that the courthouse three weeks later was crowded with an excited multitude of the curious and sympathizing.. And, as we stepped upon the verandah, down came Mrs…

2 09 2007

These will be invariably accompanied by the expression of the observer’s opinion that they have no meaning or are unimportant.. It was past midnight, and our guest arose to go.. Where was she? In the enthusiasm of victory he had forgotten her.. We meant to stay out until the Bredes had taken their departure; but we returned just in time to see Pete, the Jacobus darkey, the blacker of boots, the brasher of coats, the general handy-man of the house, loading the Brede trunks on the Jacobus wagon.. I’ve been getting a fair salary all the season, and I’ve saved some money.. The physician must reserve for himself the right to penetrate, by a process of deduction, from the effect on consciousness to the unconscious psychic process; he learns in this way that the effect on consciousness is only a remote psychic product of the unconscious process and that the latter has not become conscious as such; that it has been in existence and operative without betraying itself in any way to consciousness.. There was nothing else that he could do.. That a wish suppressed during the day asserts itself in the dream can be shown by a great many examples.. The Colonel shifted uneasily in his chair.. There, across from each other at the kitchen table, sat the utterly selfish and traitorous younger members of the rival houses of Ellsworth and Van Kamp, deep in the joys of chicken, and mashed potatoes, and gravy, and hot corn-pone, and all the other fixings, laughing and chatting gaily like chums of years’ standing.. And yet–he had entered it with an uncertain–he might almost say–a timid step.. The same kind of dream about a forbidden dish was that of a little boy of twenty-two months.. I am therefore of the opinion that it is best to accord freedom to dreams.. No–why, what’s the matter? Oh, beaucoup de matter.. Now what can be the meaning of the patient’s wishing to be born at her summer resort? I asked the dreamer this, and she answered without hesitation: Hasn’t the treatment made me as though I were born again? Thus the dream becomes an invitation to continue the cure at this summer resort, that is, to visit her there; perhaps it also contains a very bashful allusion to the wish to become a mother herself.. The next thought referred to the sentence: She then looks to see whether the parts can be seen behind.. Vardeman’s select boarding house.. And–choicest gift of Fate in all–he had, not a strawberry-mark on his left arm, but a cut from a juvenile brickbat over his right eye, slightly affecting the play of that eyebrow. No, I don’t often wear them. In this connection, I cannot get away from the thought that I regret this disbursement.

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